How Do Ya Like Them Apples, C.J.?

Twenty games, give or take.  Less than a month into this baseball season.  Life in North Texas for baseball fans is great.

My Texas Rangers, the team I've given emotional support since July of 1977, is fresh off consecutive World Series appearances, but fell short both times. Amidst the hype over the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Los Angeles Anaheim, Angeles Angels... really?) over all the money they dumped into Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson this summer, I have been chomping at the bit for this season to begin.  I'm crazy enough to actually think the Rangers have the foundation (monetarily and mentally), the players, and the hunger to reach the World Series again.  Even worse, I believe they will return this year and I think they will bring to Texas the trophy that has as of yet eluded both teams from this sports-happy state.

So far, the numbers for my team are looking good:

after games played on 25 April 2012
	W	L	GB
Texas Rangers	15	4	-
Oakland Athletics	10	10	5.5
Seattle Mariners	9	10	6.0
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim*	6	12	8.5
*longest team name ever

To say that I'm happy that the Angels are struggling, is like saying I like free ballpark nachos.  Schadenfreude on A-Rod... I mean steroids.  Could there be a bigger understatement.  The Angels can't score.  Pujols is homerless.  C.J. went from penthouse to outhouse and is confused enough he probably likes it.

I quite like C.J. in an Angels uniform.  He's got good stuff, but isn't the most consistent pitcher.  The tweeting of Mike Napoli's phone number seems to reveal, to me, at least, that he doesn't give his (ex-)teammates proper respect.  That's below the belt.  Enough on C.J., as Yu Darvish seems a class act and has shown more inprovement in 4 starts than C.J. showed his entire career with Texas.  Pujols' signing seemed over-the-top from the start.  I don't wish injury on the guy, but I can't imagine he'll be producing at a worthwhile clip toward the end of his contract.  The pressure to produce for him must be dibilitating, or so it seems.  He evidently isn't adjusted to it yet.  I'm sure Angels manager Mike Scioscia is not so amused with the $240 million contract standing on first base.  Can't blame Scioscia for that.  By my bad math, that's $148,481.06 a game for a player who is batting .222 with zero homers and 4 runs batted in.  Ranger fans are salivating.  These numbers are especially Pavlovian when the Rangers have the best record in baseball at 15 - 4, with a winning percentage of .789.  I think my team is a good one.  Go figure.

Anyway, I don't expect the Angels to suck like this all year, but I think the Rangers have as good a chance as any team at holding on to first place.  Nolan Ryan's leadership has done wonders for this team.  The ptiching wisdom Mike Maddux and the new addition of Greg Maddux into the Rangers' fold can only be a good thing.  There is a belief in the Rangers' clubhouse that the team has what it takes to get the big trophy in October.  It looks to be a great ride.  I'm in for it.  I even like apples.

I do like ballpark nachos more though.

A quick thought on change...

     I have several lines of scripture and poetry in my office at work.  One of my all-time favorites comes from 1 Chronicles 4:10, which Bruce Wilkinson examined in The Prayer of Jabez:

Jabez cried out the the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!  Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I would be free from pain."  And God granted his request.

I treasure this scripture in its simplicity and power.

     I also have something I wrote one day upon feeling lifted in an attempt to overday the difficulties of the day:

There is no arena where I exist in which I have achieved flawlessness; thus, in each of my endeavors, I will harvest the seed of improvement.

I love how, that specific day, whatever was bothering me paled in comparison to my undaunted spirit.  I am actually proud to have written it.

     Lastly, another day, I wrote a small poem, with the intention, I'm sure, to comfort my questioning self that the pains that come from life are for a greater purpose.  I recognized, thankfully, that I am a part of something that is bigger than I am, and found solace in my belief that my tomorrows will bring more peace than my yesterdays have:

Embrace the uncertainty of change,
The pain of progression,
And the discomfort of growth...

As they are the impetus for better things to come.

I love what this says.  It is so who I am at the core, although I admit that in my weaker moments I crave the stability of structure and familiarity.  Everything around me that I now care about is changing, and all for the better.  My wife Brenda and I are both focusing more on our spiritual relationships with God.  I am trying, almost as best as I know how, to be a better husband and father.  My relationships with family and friends alike are all testing my ability to stretch and become more than I already am.  I don't know how I'll manage the rest of the day, but I do have faith that I will find a strength in the metamorphosis of my life, even if it is in coming to the acceptance that it's not in my hands.  I'll find solace in holding on by letting go.  And when something uncomfortable comes along to test my mettle, at least I've got some good quotes to read in my office.  If they don't spur me into a positive mindset, I'll just come up with some more.

Uncommon catharsis

It's been too long since I blogged.  Juggling the frequent blog ideas while dealing with the normal push and pull of a busy life, I can't help but to wonder how people find the time (and energy) to blog at all.  That said, I am trying to take some positive steps in my life, which hopefully results in many a change, including more blogging.  (If quantity fails, I'm precalling it now that I'll fall back on the classic "quality over quantity" mentality.)  Like many things I do, blogging could be considered a catharsis of sorts.  One can't argue the benefits of communication, provided it's not hurtful to self or others.  Any attempts at blogging would certainly not be hurtful to anybody, at least not intentionally.  It's the age-old concept of expressing oneself and the belief I have that it is healthy to do so, again, provided no one gets hurt. 
How interesting that the simpliest of things, the conveyance of one's opinion, of a heartfelt thought, is inherently a good thing.  I don't expect that my expression on here (or on facebook or twitter) can solve the world's problems.  Or anyone's problems.  Maybe, just maybe, in putting some of my thoughts on virtual paper, I can heal some of my own conundrums.  Maybe I can feel like I'm being heard by somebody, even if I have to trick my eyes into thinking somebody else typed this.  Maybe someone, but no one in particular, that personally knows me, will somehow gain insight into me and my quirky ways of thinking, and in doing so, is able to better understand me.  I often feel misunderstood.  Maybe it is just me, but maybe its not.  There's no test to verify this, at least not one of which I'm aware.  (I realize, but seem to often forget, that others will probably try to understand me more when I take the time to try to understand them more... a novel concept, no doubt!)  So maybe I'll be able to communicate better with others.  That would be a welcome thing.  So many things in my life would have gone so much more smoothly had I been a better communicator.  So many arguments in I could have not played a leading role.  I don't live with regret, as I recognize that I am who I am because of the accumulated experiences I've had, be they ones I hold dear or the ones I shy away from when memory brings them forth.  But have a sadness for not learning some lessons sooner than I learned them, for not being more kind to people.  Someone I can't recall introduced to me a concept of the existence of two kinds of people in the world: people are happy when one person walks in the room, while they are happy when another person leaves the room.  I have felt like I was the latter kind of person, although I've had friends and family tell me that I'm too hard on myself.  I want to become more than the person I've grown to be so far.  I owe that to myself, my wife and kids, my friends, my co-workers, and mostly to my Savior.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  All I have is now.